Does size matter ?

This guy that I grew up with – lived down the street from me and we went through school and uni more or less together had that ‘handsome Dan’ kind of look about him from a young age and certainly had an ability to charm and impress people, especially women. However when it came to it, he was hung like a tic-tac.

I, on the other hand always considered myself a mongy looking person and was never really into charming people too much, never had to I guess, and I was always a little too arrogant and nervous as a kid. I remember as an awkward teenager being curious about how I fit in the scheme of things. I remember reading something like Cosmo or a similar mag’s many articles about what is average/normal in terms of manliness/substance and thinking that I was roughly a little on the plus side of normal (I made the mistake of assuming their measurements were of a flaccid, rather than fully erect reading). So I was happy about being normal. This was re-enforced by the fact that I went to a boys’ boarding school, so had access to a quite large amount of fairly hard-core porn. The guys in it were what I considered average, normal, the same as me. It wasn’t until after I bought my first condom that I re-examined this point. The saucey picture on the front of the extra large condom packet was of a man and woman seemingly in the middle of it, but the girl was spooning the guy…which made me believe that there was no way known mine was any where near that size so I mistakenly bought the average size.

Recently, as sadly I found out that my childhood friend’s life so far hasn’t been too good, He doesn’t have much, if any of the things in life that I have, yet we came from the same street.  I have been pondering which is more important: looks or substance. Would I trade, for a day, a week or forever substance for that certain male cuteness and the gift of the gab? I really don’t know. I don’t think so, but that’s pretty easy for me to say given that I am talking about a hypothetical trade that is in no way possible. What about people that I see as sensual and sexy? I don’t know a thing about most of them. I couldn’t tell you what the first conversation I had with my now wife was, but I could tell you what she was wearing when I first met her. I guess this may be my answer…bugger.

This post’s lame joke - a horse walks into a bar, orders a beer, sits down on one of the tables and starts reading his paper. The bartender brings over his beer, as the horse gets out a ten dollar note and gives it to the bartender. The bartender, on seeing that the horse is reading ‘The Courier Mail’, figures he’s not that bright, so decides to short change him, returning with a two dollar coin. The horse says nothing and continues reading his paper. After a while, the horse gets up and orders another beer. The bartender, making conversation says ”you know, we don’t get many horses in here” to which the horse replies ”at eight dollars a beer, that’s hardly surprising”…

The Post’s inappropriate overshare – well, I think I’ve already covered that one.